They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
