You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
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