ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Randomize
