You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
