dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
