Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
