im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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