remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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