Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
