I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Randomize
