I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize