His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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