You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
