So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
