Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
