Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
