Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
