last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize