Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
