she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I had to cum in my sink.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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