I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
