I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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