It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
