so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Randomize
