Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
