i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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