Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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