I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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