well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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