You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
