i can't believe i had my finger in that
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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