the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
