We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
is wine microwaveable?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
