fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
