i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
