fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
