it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize