I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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