Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
