You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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