it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
