i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
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