i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
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