pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize