I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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