Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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