if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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