you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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