So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
