what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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