yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
