We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
