take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
It's shark week go big or go home
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
