i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
