She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize