do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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