Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
