I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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