i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
