You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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