she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
